A woman of authentic integrity…

A woman of authentic integrity…

Would you like me to apologize for unapologetically being me? Should I say sorry to you now, for being who I choose to be? For being happy? For being pleased with who I am?

Do I have to be obedient to your made-up rules and self-proclaimed righteousness in order to be considered good?

No. The feeling of having to defend oneself for being oneself is an absurd one.

I am here to live my life in a way that fulfills me – not in a way that fulfills someone else’s perception of how I should be. I am not here to be anything other than me. If that offends you, then ask yourself why you’re not fully being you.

I am not going to change who I am for your approval. The only approval I need is my own. And I approved of me a long, long time ago.

So to waste my time trying to convince me that I am no good, is pointless. To waste my time in an effort to get me angry with myself is ridiculous. To waste any time with the intention of trying to make me more like you and less like me, more angry and less happy, more confused and less clear – is absolutely insane.

For, that will never happen, see, I’m Missy, babe. I am ME.

I came here with the intention to live and enjoy the wild ride, with the commitment to honor myself and all that I desire as the amazing me that I am.

I did not come here to shame others. I did not come here to blame others. I came here to live. To enjoy living. To enjoy the ride. To enjoy myself. My wild self.

I will not cage or tame myself to better accommodate you. I will only hope that you find the key to set yourself free from the cage you’ve locked yourself up in, so you stop trying to cage me in there with you.

You see, I cannot be caged. I cannot be tamed. I am Missy. I am a wild woman. I am Missy. I am the light that blinds if you’re not opening your eyes clearly. I am the Queen of the Wild, and wild I will be. And if for some reason that offends you, then don’t bother with me.

If what I do with my life makes you angry while you live yours – then take a deeper look behind your closed doors. Cause my doors are wide open – my pages there for you to read – and when you look deeper at me you still see that the way I live my life makes me happy.

And THAT is all I seek.

What is it that you seek? That should be your priority. Not me, and how I’m living fulfillingly.

I suggest that if you continue having trouble seeing clearly when you’re near me, pull the blinds over your eyes, because I won’t be dimming my spectacular light.

And if you wish to continue to tell me that what I’m doing and how I’m doing it is not right, please rethink before you speak, because you see, I don’t give a fuck about what you feel entitled to say at me.

So if I want to dance at 10:30 to loud music that makes me want to howl, then I will and you can watch me. And if I want to howl like the wild beast that I am, then I will and you can listen. And if I want to stomp my feet in excitement for whatever reason, then I will and you can feel it.

And if you don’t like it, walk away, because I am not going to change. And I am perfectly comfortable right here where I stand.

And if from where I stand I want to tell a woman I’ve never before met that she is beautiful, then I will, because she is. And if I want to jump up and cheerlead other women, then I will – because that’s what women should do. We should celebrate each other, hold each other up high, empower one another and celebrate our differences. Not belittle or berate each other in order to feel good about where we stand.

A woman who belittles or berates another woman is only belittling and berating herself.

If you are a woman of authentic integrity, then what another woman chooses to do with her life should have no affect and hold no power over you. But the moment your mind starts stirring because of what another woman chooses for herself, is the moment that you need to look inside of yourself.

Because you are here to live, babe, so don’t waste your time getting hung up when another girl doesn’t do it like you, cause she’s busy having the time of her life, and you should be too.

 

I will not shut up, I will not put on a bra…

I will not shut up, I will not put on a bra…

Recently I was told to settle down. To cool it. To start behaving more like a parent and an adult. To move and shift my natural ways of being, in order to make everyone comfortable. In order to be on the same line as everyone else in this adult-world. In order to display the look of living like society wants a young adult with children to live like. To wear more clothes and be more conservative, now that I’m a certain age. To turn down the music. To limit my desires of having a good time, because that’s not allowed anymore. To tame my hair, my bare feet, my ripped-up shorts and my itinerary to match where I should be, according to everyone else’s imagination. Quite silly, since I’m missy… and the only one that is she.

 
And here I am, standing tall in all that I am, shining as bright as I wish, and being told to cut it out.

 
Why? Why are we told at our certain age to stop dreaming? Why are we told to shut off our imaginations? Our child-like wonder? Our enthusiasm? Why are we all expected to carry ourselves a certain way, just because that’s what other people are doing? Why are we told to live “like this”, because it worked for someone else?

 
I am not someone else. I am me. I am not going to surrender to what other people expect to see from a thirty-year old me. I am not going to stop doing the things that make my soul sing and set my heart on fire. I am not going to stop being me. I am not going to stop celebrating the little girl inside of me who deserves to be celebrated. I like when she runs the show. I am not going to stop immersing myself in the awe that is life, in the way that I choose. I am not going to stop exploring and seeking adventure that I’m told I should be done with by now, because of my damn age and life circumstance.

 
I am not going to settle into slowing down for the sake of someone else feeling comfortable about my pace. I am not going to slow down just because I get hurt. I will get hurt, and like that little girl learning to ride her bike, I will get up again, strap my legs around that bike and ride harder than I did before. I am going to do this, forever and always, because dammit-I’m ALIVE! And it feels so good.

 
And regardless of my age, or the amount of children that I choose to parent, I will continue to live and to thrive the only way I know how- by being me, Missy, Missy, Missy. I will set the example for these boys, for myself, and for anyone else who dares to watch – that life is fun, it is supposed to be fun, and the name of the game is to enjoy the thrill of the ride. That’s it.

 
And that’s just what I’ll do. That’s what I’ve been doing. And that’s what I’m going to continue to do. I sleep when I’m tired, I dream when I’m inspired, and I dance when I like the beat. I will not settle down. I will not slow down. I will not cool it. I will not shut up. I will not put on a bra. I will not become the vision of what a thirty-year old woman raising children should look like. THIS is what it looks like, when it’s the vision of me. And it’s damn good.

 
We all seem to be thriving in this way. Dancing when we want. Spinning in circles. Creating lives for ourselves that are molded and shaped by the imagination and happiness of the child within. That’s what I’m doing here, with myself and these little humans and anyone else that crosses my untamed path – teaching how to thrive in the celebration of all that is you. That’s the whole damn point.

We are curious creatures…

We are curious creatures…

I sit here and contemplate with the thought that we are all wild animals. We are creatures. We are beasts. Simply running off of animalistic impulse and instinct. Dancing and flowing or pushing and pulling with the forces of nature that stir all around. At times we forget that the forces are wild. So is the nature. So am I. And so are you. We’re wild creatures that have been tamed, seeking ways to release our inhibited wild nature.

I sit here and toy with the ideas of why we do what we do and how we perceive that which is intangible but so clearly there. We have this way of picking up on things that we can’t actually touch but can see, can’t point out but can feel, can’t hold yet can’t deny. We dance with feelings and shifts in the air. Like animals, like wild creatures, we feel all of the energies that stir. We feel each other’s thoughts like we feel the sun pouring in on our skin. We feel another person’s wild instincts setting in like how we feel a hard shift in the wind. We pick up on each other like animals, like wild creatures, like beasts.

Continue reading “We are curious creatures…”

You… that’s the whole point…

You… that’s the whole point…

Just stop. Sit down. Fall down. Lie down. Stand up. Jump. Dance. Revolt. Revolutionize. Zip your lips. Scream your words the loudest anyone ever would. Or be quiet if you prefer that instead. Do whatever it takes. Do it all. Do whatever makes you fall back in love with yourself, or deeper into loving yourself. Do whatever this moment, your soul in this moment, is begging of you. Whatever it is. Listen. Stop. Look around you. Find truth in what you see, what you hear, what you feel and just let that be. Let all of that, whatever it is, inside of you, outside of you, let that be it. Just let that be. And do with it what you will. Do with you, whatever you will, whatever you feel you must. Because this moment, this feeling, these thoughts, these inklings, the heart beating, all of it- all of that- all of this- is yours, is you. Do with it what you will. Do with you what you feel you must. Do any of it, if it feels right to you. You. That’s the whole point.

a wild woman on Wednesday morning…

a wild woman on Wednesday morning…

And so I ran and I ran and I ran. I ran through the dewy grass of the yard and into the back of the wood. I ran and I ran and I ran. Like a wild woman would. Like I would.

I threw the papers down to the ground from the grip of my left hand. I threw down the jar of my last sips of bitter black coffee from the grip of my right hand. I threw it away and I ran. I ran and I ran and I ran.

Continue reading “a wild woman on Wednesday morning…”

Dear Janne, here’s the thing about communication…

Dear Janne, here’s the thing about communication…

All of our relationships flow with the currents of contrast and connection. The perfection in our communication with one another lies in our contentment with contrast. I don’t so much see this as an issue of communication solely between men and women, I take this as an issue of people communicating with people. This is a practice that we are all learning and perfecting through out our entire lives.

Perhaps we do not climb a consistent ladder to get better and better at our communicating with one another, but perhaps it is more like a roller coaster – up and down. Some days we are the gods and goddesses of getting our point across and our voices heard and our roaring desires and demands met. Some days we are queens of lending an ear and showing compassion. And then there are those other days, where we kind of suck so badly at communicating our feelings, or being open and vulnerable enough to listen to anyone, other than friendly animals. And here’s the thing – that’s OKAY. Continue reading “Dear Janne, here’s the thing about communication…”

Rhapsody for the wild and free…

Rhapsody for the wild and free…

We’re doing fine 

we’re doing great 

as long as we’re excited. 

This is our time 

this is our space

It’s where we were invited.

We get hungry

We get thirsty

We tell ourselves 

There are worse things.

Tangled and untangled

All of the time.

On the fishing line

The fishing line

The fishing here is fine.

We dapple in a dance

Find romance

In a sea of fantasy

Magical serendipity.

We are cells 

Within a master brain

Within the master brain 

Within something too far for you to explain.

Using eye 1

Eye 2

Eye 3

Seeing how we want to see

All the pretty little things 

But really

You is me

And 

Us is we

And really all the little things,

We’ve always known,

Don’t mean a thing..

So maybe for a minute

We could let ourselves do our thing

Without questioning

And just do our damn thing.

That thing that feels good

Like we know we should 

Whatever it is.

Like dancing in the stars

Or doing too much of one thing

Just making memories 

Cause we’re all in the same scheme.

We’ve come too far

To disregard what we do

Who we are

What we know and always knew.

Don’t tell me to nap

When I want to live

I’ve got the map

Always have, always did.

I know where I’m going

Where I’ve been

What I’ve done.

I’ve been watching all of you

All your secrets

All your fun

What ever it is

It’s what we’re all doing

From the start to the middle and the finish

We’re unwinding we’re unglueing.

We were drunk off of love 

And falling into ourselves 

Open to the awareness

That it would all ring your bell.

Let your palms get slippery

Get wild and dirty

Or quiet down

-sit back

Revel in your purity.

We’re playing the game 

Whichever way we want to

And we win in the end

Cause we did what we came to.

And you may think

You’re separate from me

With your mystery and trickery

But really it’s just you and me.

And it isn’t even that

It’s all of us

Right here right now

And before 

And before

And we are more

Than we ever gave us credit for.

I’ll meet you at the door

With the key

To what you look for.

Lust and love

And milk and eggs

And booze and songs from

Another age.

It’s dripping

Like

Honey or sap

However you want it

It’s like that.

Sip from my cup of tea…

Sip from my cup of tea…

I reached for the cup of tea that she’d placed down beside me. Already I was in a trance brought on by the consumption of love that swallowed me whole. The blues of my eyes drifted and melted into the blues of the Sea. The golden glitter dancing on the waters ripples reminded me that it could’ve been day or night – depending on how I was to look at things.

For, I knew it was all in my eyes.

I pressed my lips gently onto the tea cup and sipped my first sip. It was a cocktail of sorts. Sprinkled with stardust sweeter than anything I’d ever dreamed of tasting. A concoction of cosmic dew and honey that dripped down from the Heavens.  Continue reading “Sip from my cup of tea…”

The time has come, she said…

The time has come, she said…

The time has come, she said…

to live as free as you can live

and remember like you always did

all the magic that has brought you here

the magic living in the air

and all the things your eyes can see

But mostly which was not perceived…

The time has come, she said…

to speak of all your true desires and never speak of less

and listen to the wind in her current of caress

and the wisdoms in her whisper –

take her hand and trust her

and go where she will guide you –

where all your dreams come true…

The time has come, she said…

to fly free into the future – not the present not the past

but where you thrive eternally and ever last

and dance inside the magic that lives within your heart

where you are the creator infinitely from the start

and float above all of the tides

that only live inside your mind…

The time has come, she said…

to dream of rainbows big and bright

knowing that all is purely made of light

and remember that you paint what it is you wish to see

so then everything is just the way it is meant to be

and let that secret carry you to that sweet place –

the home in your heart that’s alive and awake…

The time has come, she said…

to dance with the rain like you’ve done a million times before

and always let it leave you wanting so much more

and keep chasing after all of your longings and desires

so that your souls fire grows brighter and brighter

as you grace the foot prints in the soil of divine timing

and shine like the Sun in this beautiful life that you star in…

Contribution to The Daily Post

Rejoice in the knowing that I am the Magician…

Rejoice in the knowing that I am the Magician…

Here I am. Like I am seeing again for the first time. Hearing again for the first time. Aware. Awake. Alive. Everything is in front of me. And everything is within me.

I sit here, writing my heart out, just as I pictured I would. Sitting in front of the waters edge, on top of the soft morning sand, under the magic of the Sun. Aware… and awake. Just as I pictured I’d be.

Free. Electrified with the radiant feel of a lighthearted perception. Like when I was a younger girl. A younger girl with no worries – floating above the water of this comforting pond, picturing that one day it would be in my backyard. Picturing that I’d be on the private side of this pond, writing under the Sun, meditating and saluting the Sun.

And here I am. Sitting here on the private side of the pond. Pen in my hand. Toes buried under the sand. I never saw it coming, although, all along I did. I always knew I’d be here. Looking up at the sky in this moment with pride and excitement, trust and bliss, gratitude and love. Absolutely positive.

Awake. And aware. Alive in the knowing that I am light stretching from the Heavens. I am the vibration that creates all that ever is. I am the Power of the Universe. In constant communication and synchronization with the forces of all that ever is. I am the manifestation of miracles and I manifest all miracles I desire.

Here I am. Awake. Aware. Alive. I am the Magician. I am the Wizard. I am the speaker to the birds and the animals, the wind and the rain, the Sun and the Water. I am the glitter that dances on top of the water. I am all that I’ve ever dreamed of being.

Contribution to The Daily Post