All of our relationships flow with the currents of contrast and connection. The perfection in our communication with one another lies in our contentment with contrast. I don’t so much see this as an issue of communication solely between men and women, I take this as an issue of people communicating with people. This is a practice that we are all learning and perfecting through out our entire lives.
Perhaps we do not climb a consistent ladder to get better and better at our communicating with one another, but perhaps it is more like a roller coaster – up and down. Some days we are the gods and goddesses of getting our point across and our voices heard and our roaring desires and demands met. Some days we are queens of lending an ear and showing compassion. And then there are those other days, where we kind of suck so badly at communicating our feelings, or being open and vulnerable enough to listen to anyone, other than friendly animals. And here’s the thing – that’s OKAY.
We ought not ever expect perfection, in any area of our lives. We must know that we are already living in perfection, and it has nothing to do with the conditions we’ve tried to control. Like smooth and choppy waters, we can choose to see those conditions of the sea, and fight them, or allow it to just be – because you are fully aware that the water will calm again. You are fully aware that the water always calms, the currents always slow. We can choose to go downstream, or keep fighting upstream. Either way, the current will take you. And either way, you will never hold a grudge against the sea, and you know that you will always return for more of her unconditioned love and comfort.
In order to get what we need through our relationships and through our communicating with one another, we must be accepting of ourselves first. And we must forgive ourselves. On those days where it’s a struggle to hold a nice conversation, or be a shoulder to lean on, don’t beat yourself up. YOU are doing your best, which is perfect. And HE is doing his best, which is perfect. Don’t beat it up, just let the current flow. Allow yourself to be vulnerable enough to get swept into the flow, and see how that unfolds. It may be more enjoyable than hopping off the boat and trying to swim against the stream.
The goal we all strive for in times of communication is to be honest, authentic, and comfortable with the words we choose and how we choose to use them. Behind the scenes of the communication of two people, is a huge dialogue that those two people are having within themselves. And however we communicate with ourselves, in all aspects and contrasts, is how we will communicate with everyone else. However we choose to react to another, shines a light on how we are reflecting on ourselves.
The most important thing to take away from this is the understanding that you are you, and he is he. In love, and all relationships, no one will ever be perfect, or be perfectly the way you’d like them to be. And no relationship can flourish without that understanding. No one, other than you, will ever perceive things just as you do. You will always know that what you say is truth, because it is what you perceive and what you feel, it is real. And whatever someone else says in return, is their truth, their perception, their feeling, also real. And although it may not be a perfect match with what you feel or believe, does not mean it is wrong. Your side, his side, all sides, are real, and are valuable. In fact – it is a sweet gift from the universe- a chance to try to see things differently.
True love is unconditional. We were not put here to place conditions on our love, we were put here to love unconditionally. And when we allow unconditional love to pour in for our own self, then true love from another simply cannot be denied. (Even in the midst of argument). When your relationship is based on unconditional love, all of the arguments and choppy waters in the world could not rip it apart or tear it down. Once you know that, then communication is a delicious piece of cake. And you will be caught in the beautiful rapture of the dance with the pull of the current.