I will not shut up, I will not put on a bra…

I will not shut up, I will not put on a bra…

Recently I was told to settle down. To cool it. To start behaving more like a parent and an adult. To move and shift my natural ways of being, in order to make everyone comfortable. In order to be on the same line as everyone else in this adult-world. In order to display the look of living like society wants a young adult with children to live like. To wear more clothes and be more conservative, now that I’m a certain age. To turn down the music. To limit my desires of having a good time, because that’s not allowed anymore. To tame my hair, my bare feet, my ripped-up shorts and my itinerary to match where I should be, according to everyone else’s imagination. Quite silly, since I’m missy… and the only one that is she.

 
And here I am, standing tall in all that I am, shining as bright as I wish, and being told to cut it out.

 
Why? Why are we told at our certain age to stop dreaming? Why are we told to shut off our imaginations? Our child-like wonder? Our enthusiasm? Why are we all expected to carry ourselves a certain way, just because that’s what other people are doing? Why are we told to live “like this”, because it worked for someone else?

 
I am not someone else. I am me. I am not going to surrender to what other people expect to see from a thirty-year old me. I am not going to stop doing the things that make my soul sing and set my heart on fire. I am not going to stop being me. I am not going to stop celebrating the little girl inside of me who deserves to be celebrated. I like when she runs the show. I am not going to stop immersing myself in the awe that is life, in the way that I choose. I am not going to stop exploring and seeking adventure that I’m told I should be done with by now, because of my damn age and life circumstance.

 
I am not going to settle into slowing down for the sake of someone else feeling comfortable about my pace. I am not going to slow down just because I get hurt. I will get hurt, and like that little girl learning to ride her bike, I will get up again, strap my legs around that bike and ride harder than I did before. I am going to do this, forever and always, because dammit-I’m ALIVE! And it feels so good.

 
And regardless of my age, or the amount of children that I choose to parent, I will continue to live and to thrive the only way I know how- by being me, Missy, Missy, Missy. I will set the example for these boys, for myself, and for anyone else who dares to watch – that life is fun, it is supposed to be fun, and the name of the game is to enjoy the thrill of the ride. That’s it.

 
And that’s just what I’ll do. That’s what I’ve been doing. And that’s what I’m going to continue to do. I sleep when I’m tired, I dream when I’m inspired, and I dance when I like the beat. I will not settle down. I will not slow down. I will not cool it. I will not shut up. I will not put on a bra. I will not become the vision of what a thirty-year old woman raising children should look like. THIS is what it looks like, when it’s the vision of me. And it’s damn good.

 
We all seem to be thriving in this way. Dancing when we want. Spinning in circles. Creating lives for ourselves that are molded and shaped by the imagination and happiness of the child within. That’s what I’m doing here, with myself and these little humans and anyone else that crosses my untamed path – teaching how to thrive in the celebration of all that is you. That’s the whole damn point.

We are curious creatures…

We are curious creatures…

I sit here and contemplate with the thought that we are all wild animals. We are creatures. We are beasts. Simply running off of animalistic impulse and instinct. Dancing and flowing or pushing and pulling with the forces of nature that stir all around. At times we forget that the forces are wild. So is the nature. So am I. And so are you. We’re wild creatures that have been tamed, seeking ways to release our inhibited wild nature.

I sit here and toy with the ideas of why we do what we do and how we perceive that which is intangible but so clearly there. We have this way of picking up on things that we can’t actually touch but can see, can’t point out but can feel, can’t hold yet can’t deny. We dance with feelings and shifts in the air. Like animals, like wild creatures, we feel all of the energies that stir. We feel each other’s thoughts like we feel the sun pouring in on our skin. We feel another person’s wild instincts setting in like how we feel a hard shift in the wind. We pick up on each other like animals, like wild creatures, like beasts.

Continue reading “We are curious creatures…”

The light that is you…

The light that is you…

Everything that you say and everything that you do is a fundamental piece of the entire composition. Every word that you speak drips from your lips like gold dripping down from the heavens. Every thought that you make in your mind has been but a beautiful riddle only you have always had the answer to. Every move that you make is like fluid – water – and yet you are the wind – never-ending nor beginning , but constantly evolving. Continue reading “The light that is you…”

You are here…

You are here…

Allow me to tell you the truth…

You are here to do what pleases you. Whatever that is, you are here for that. You are here to feel the pleasure of things. The things that feel good – that make you truly happy – that’s why you’re here. That’s what you’re doing, what you’re meant to be doing. You are here to ride the wave, or the wooden-rickety-rollercoaster, and feel all of the feelings of that – the swells of the ocean, the ups and downs of the coaster – the in-betweens of it all. You are here to partake in the motions of the movement of life, and allow those motions to reveal to you what you truly want. You are here to watch how things unfold, and your role is to thrive in your own enjoyment of it all, in your dance with the story of your life. Though, not to get stuck on any pages. Your role is to revel in the evolution of yourself and fall into the rapture of you. You are here to indulge. Indulge in what feels good, and focus on that.

You are not here to fix anything. Nothing was ever broken. Nothing is broken now. You are here to remember that all is well, and everything always will be. You are here to make yourself happy, and make fun of the ride. You are here to see everything you ever wanted to see and bask in the glory of your greatness. You are here to explore feeling, and allow your feeling to be your guide. You are here to see the signs that are given, and make with them what you want, and call it magic if you like. You are here to look up and laugh at the skies. Soak up the sun. And feel the ocean on your skin. You are here. You are here to enjoy and experience the unfoldment of your brilliant life. Nothing is going wrong, everything is going right. You are here, right where you belong, and this is your ride. Always moving, never idle. Always thriving, always riding.

So keep riding your wave or your coaster, and feel how it feels, and know it’s okay. It’s all okay. You’re on the ride of your life, so you might as well go ahead and ride it your way. Do it all your way. That’s the reason you’re here, anyway. You are here to find pleasure in living your life. You are here to thrive in what makes you revel on this ride. You are here to do whatever it is – WHATEVER – it is that makes you so damn thrilled to be alive, riding your ride.

 

 

You… that’s the whole point…

You… that’s the whole point…

Just stop. Sit down. Fall down. Lie down. Stand up. Jump. Dance. Revolt. Revolutionize. Zip your lips. Scream your words the loudest anyone ever would. Or be quiet if you prefer that instead. Do whatever it takes. Do it all. Do whatever makes you fall back in love with yourself, or deeper into loving yourself. Do whatever this moment, your soul in this moment, is begging of you. Whatever it is. Listen. Stop. Look around you. Find truth in what you see, what you hear, what you feel and just let that be. Let all of that, whatever it is, inside of you, outside of you, let that be it. Just let that be. And do with it what you will. Do with you, whatever you will, whatever you feel you must. Because this moment, this feeling, these thoughts, these inklings, the heart beating, all of it- all of that- all of this- is yours, is you. Do with it what you will. Do with you what you feel you must. Do any of it, if it feels right to you. You. That’s the whole point.

a stone-paved road…

a stone-paved road…

I want to see the cracks in the stones that have been there for hundreds of years.

I want to see their depth and dried up tears.

I want to be the one to notice the flower poking out from the long-time broken slabs.

I want to walk across the cracks and slabs

and feel the presence of my grace.

I want to leave a trail of little pieces of me.

I want to leave a trace.

-Not to be found

-Not to be crowned

But to show another way.

A way that blazes through the broken bits,

that were never really broken,

without hesitation

down a stone-paved road that leads to your destination.

Taken by night…

Taken by night…

I wish to be taken by the night

to let her show me what I like

let her spin her web

through the gaps between my breath

and listen to her whisper

as I get warmer

lingering deeper into her depths

and let her take my hand

and spin me til I’m spun

plucking the words from my head

one by one

and watching as I come undone.

I wish to be taken by the night

to let her sweep me into the rapture of intrigue and delight

let her take the lead

and dip me in the dance

and listen to her whisper

as I get closer

falling deeper into her trance

and let her guide my eyes

and show me what I like

stripping the limits I’d once seen

sight by sight

and watching as I turn to light.

I wish to be taken by the night

to let her show me what I’m like

let her take me for a ride

through the depths of dark and light

and listen to her whisper

as I get nearer

riding into where twilight resides

and let her shine my light

and teach me hours versus moments

Enticing all of my wishes

bit by bit

and watching as I become all of it.